Mind Speak Vs Mind Games!!

  I will never understand why some people don't say what’s going on their mind? Why all hiding? Is it a fear? Fear that the other person will do something which they don't expect in their terms? Something which can ruin their plans or life? OR mealy just they don't want to open their Mouth!! I can understand holding your tongue out loud when you are protecting someone or may be even you. Also it’s better to keep your mouth shut before judging someone. But some people just won't confide in you even they claim they are one of among you. You meet them, ask them for what they are going to do (plans, schedules, or anything) and no you don't get any satisfied answers. (You get like, I don't know, I don't decide or we haven't talked yet)  And next thing you come to know that everything was already set, planned....so annoying!! For me it is very simple...tell me about your dreams, your nightmares, your failures and your triumph. Your pain, your shame, your anger, your love, and I will tell you all about mine.
      I simply don't understand that...it’s beyond my understanding limit!! Why so much secrecy? And for what? Trying to avoid a conflicts also something I can live with. (Even though there are cases where clearing the Air is much better than keeping mum and sulking about it.) So many times I have faced a dilemma, should I keep my thoughts (mouth) to myself. Think before I speak.... People do say to me that I am Impulsive. Meaning that I speak my mind (well that's my point of view) and I do what my heart says......it should be controlled on depending the situations!!! Really...dhah!
     But the point is that if I have to measure and weigh the words every time I open my mouth.....then I have to be better shut up for all the time. And become non participant or not being one among them which will be little impossible for me. Because first I am not hypocrite and secondly if I don't speak what I feel, want, need or don't want all that then what’s the point of living as a human being? May be by doing this you are labeled as whatever they think but at least you are what you are.

     We are so very inhibited by these so called social norms that acting on your own instincts is not permissible. We are so many times sitting back and evaluate and feel sorry about missed opportunities and UNSAID thoughts. So many unsaid, 'sorry', to whom we have hurt, so many, ‘thank you' to whom we have been benefited and of course so many, ‘angry words' to whom from we are hurt or mad!!!  So in my point of views I think one should speak up their mind but in that manner that you yourself don't get hurt....because eventually those spoken words will be only your responsibility...your own Mirror where you have to see your face every day and hear those unwanted words which will hurt you more... I love that Gazel from Ahmed & Mohammad Hussein,"अपने चेहरे के दाग किसे नज़र आते है , वक़्त हर शख्श को आइना दिखा देता है." Meaning who wants to see their blemishes on their face, but the Time always shows their true face in the Mirror......meaning the God (circumstances) will make every person to see himself truly what they are!!  Too heavy...right...but so appealing.

    I still remember my MOM would always tell us in our native language, ‘Gum khata shikho, tamne j kaam aavshe'. Meaning speak very casually, it will benefit you only... But you know I always laughed & joked with her about the word, ‘Gum'....meaning as a 'Bubble Gum' and ask her which flavor Mom? Sour or Sweet?? 'GUM' means to keep quite or don't reply back!! My MOM was a beautiful extraordinary woman with very few words & with very expressive eyes. I think mostly everyone will agree with me that she has done so many actions without expressing much words. Very rarely someone will do it today!!  But still I wish so many times that she should have spoken her mind... I just wanted to hear how she felt or what she wanted in her life.....  At her later age me my sister K- (I will introduce her in other chapter...)) would push her to say something.... against or in her favor but she will just smile and brush away us... Man how I miss her so much sometimes!! But she was she... & I am me. I wish I have inherited only 10% of her gene!!
     But still I would prefer to be what I am. I can't do anything different or be different from what I am doing right now or what I am right now!! Every person has their own strategy of building their energy; and I do it with speaking my mind.

We want to say but even then
We don't say everything;
We don't speak our Mind...we Edit and we say.
I think what we don't say is the
Reasons for failing Relations and
Craving for constantly;
'Saying Something'.

love always billa driftwood,