Judgmental...

                                                       Then

 One of the most painful natures of the human life is the moments of judgment when you are judged for your worth, when you are judged for your values, your abilities and mostly your appearances… Same is a via-verse you judge for others. Most people judge them the best. Ability of the judgments in balance of others is always tough. It is so easy to be judgmental and so difficult to be judged.

And Now....

     Two days before it happened with me!! Well first let me tell you little about me… I am little short and little healthier on my outer side. (I hate to call myself fat or plump or even obese)) And I needed to buy few tops for my summer trip. So I go to my regular store where exactly I know what they have & what I want. But here goes my bad luck…that stupid smart looking red top… I thought it was my size but it didn’t fit me…damn it was little tight on my waist side. So disappointed I called for the help and got the bigger size… which was too big for me. So when I was about to leave the store without buying anything than that help, a lady (super figure conscious psycho, feebly looking) came to me and said,” You should try at maternity department.” What?? “Which month are you in?” What?? She saw confusion & irritated expression on my face… She said, oh I am sorry I thought… I exploded, what did you thought? Are you trying to tell me that all the ladies who has little big stomach, they all are suppose to be pregnant??  What are you thinking? Can’t you make a difference between a pregnant lady & little fat lady?? Here I go; I impulsively called myself fat & that made me angry. Because I don’t call that to myself or allow to others. I felt somebody violated my privacy. How can she judge me like that on my appearance? I left the store furiously in bad mood… poor lady just stood there in the shock, wondering what she said!
      Well, driving back home I cooled down. Back home I tried to look in the mirror to double check and I laughed!! Well not exactly like pregnant, but I do have put on lot of weight on my belly side. I blame it to my India stay…(thanks to my two super cooks and four course meal a day) I blame it to that horrific but so mouthwatering my new discovered Butter Almond Ice Cream… I blame it to the Gardner’s absence, as I eat more junk food. (you know that I don’t cook during that time) Well, you have to blame on something or someone right? Man seriously I must do something!

     You know I always end up of thinking that the missing ingredient which will bring magic to my life. Today while talking with the Gardner, I felt that it is nothing but sheer lack of dedication & determination in my life I’ve become very lazy & lethargic and I need to change. I crib about my pain in my legs (well, well acomplished & certified Doctor's opinion is that it is because of my being little overweight) & complain about my belly flab. I get irritated in the stores when smart outfit doesn’t fit me, but I never do anything... may be for that moment…for that time only I feel motivated and enthusiastic to lose weight here & there…but then it is too short lived to even talk about. While driving back then home I decided to be more disciplined on my eating habits, but then in the night I totally forgot & had ice-cream.

Body; Your weakness sickens me,such a pretty girl wasted. The lines in your face, ageing away your youth every seconds. How do you stand it? Can't you feel the air getting thin? Time giving in next year, next year!

I promised the face in my mirror

I will do better next year.

    While remembering my past,my  so called attempts, to be thinner on some part of my stature…so many yo-yo diets, so many diet pills… (here I want to blame it to my Taciturn sister to make me indulge with those, ’Flabolin 40.’…well my blame it on phycology indeed  is handy)…not to forget that my stupid mistake of registering myself with that high-Fy gym for a whole year, with my auto credit card monthly payment. I barely went there for a week… (I blame it to that clever, captivated sales person) Those European body wraps… I should have known that it was only a gimmick, but you don’t question your own intelligence! The most failed one was that Lemon-Cayan Pepper-Maple syrup (all must be Organic, you know and belive me my search took me to the places where one lemon will cost you only $3.99, and you need at least 8 per day... ) colon cleansing diet…ha ha ha, seriously I did tried that for almost three whole days…( 10 days are must) hoping to see those promised Alien Perasites from my colon waste... only I found... forget it... don't remind me of those tormented days...

     Seriously, I have to do something about this. I give up on myself too soon… I leave it half way too often… It’s high time I give myself a punch & make myself aware more about my appearance… I have to make efforts to fit me in that stupid but gorgeous top…( if I fit in smaller size, that will be bonus…may be more walnuts or almonds on ice-creme on occasional times, ha ha) I know I look gorgeous but, if I want to look more superb gorgeous, I’ve to be disciplined.

     So, long story cut short I shouldn’t be mad at that sales lady. I simply should have brushed away her by keeping my calm. It’s always better to go ahead in life with our hearts and mind open rather than jumping to conclusions. Who knows all facts lie beneath the fancy exteriors?

There is no one

Who can hurt me

Like myself

For I cam take a simple statement

And twist it around in my mind

Till my body trembles with pain

And I wonder how anyone

Could be so cruel. To say such a thing

Yes, given enough time, my imagination

Can make the proverbial mountain

Out of a molehill.

સાવ ચીંથરેહાલ આખી ઝીંદગી ભટક્યા કર્યું,

આખરી ક્ષણને હવે શણગારવાનું મન થયું.

જોખમી દાવો લગાવ્યા કાળના જુગારમાં,

ને હવે જીતેલ બાજી હારવાનું મન થયું.

આઇનામાં ખુદને મળવાની ઘણી ઈચ્છા હતી;

લ્યો,મળ્યા તો કેમ આંસુ સારવાનું મન થયું?

love as ever billa driftwood

The Gratitude...

 These past days were like cooking marathon....the people who knows me; they know me very well how I work!! It’s like this; I will cook or work for continuous straight for long hours...as I don't like to be in the kitchen for everyday. (Bless the soul for inventing the refrigerator...)) Same thing goes for house cleaning...like other good housewives I simply can't get up early in the morning & start my daily cleaning routine...I do that in the night or at some other time. Ahhh so I was telling about my busyness (my version of being busy so no spell-check) of cooking... like I told you the Gardner is here and my whole schedule has been changed. And now my lonely Fridge is having a feast of દાળભાત, ખીચડીકડી, લીલાશાક, સમોસા અને સ્પ્રીન્ગરોલ (savory)of three days of my hard work 

    So after that I went into a hibernation mode...lots of rest, lots of surfing channels & lots of time spending with me & me only. So in my solitude time I was wandering in the aisles of the past (what else you do?) few years which went by...especially last few days & years. Quite event full ones. So many chapters ended & so many new began... That was my life, kept walking despite of all obstacles and challenges. So many people some nice, some adorable, some obnoxious and some simply non significant walked with me & made my life so interesting. The life went so beautiful & adventurous with them. It’s like you start walking alone & people join you. हम तो चले थे अकेले को, काफिला बढता गया और राही मिलते गए. People who walked with me, stayed with me, are mine and one who quit perhaps were never mine. Still the journey was, is & will be very enjoyable, exciting with this rich experiences...

     I want to welcome coming years with open arms & want to feel good about a lot of things & a new face in my life. Hopes & promises are coming back to me & I am rejoicing those moments. No matter how small or big they may be, but they are mine & will always remain mine. Life has started breathing normally now. The mind is rejuvenating. The heart is singing. The body is now resting.

     To all those who touched my heart in some way or the other... kudos to you for bringing smile on face and restoring my faith in LOVE. Today is not thanks-giving day but I want to really thank each one who made difference in my life. Somewhere deep in my heart I always felt that the Sun always shines after a long and darker night. Thank You Very Much to You All.  અમે તો લહેરથી જીવ્યા, તમારી હૂંફમાં દોસ્તો, અમારે એક બાકી છે હવે તેહવાર ફૂલોનો.......

     To all those whom I have offended, hurt or made them feel what they are not...I am sorry. My intentions were not to do so... I must have acted upon the circumstances, misunderstandings or simply for my bad mood. I am really sorry. I would like to hand out my hand for fresh start, only if you want to. I know that it will take some time from both side, but we can try...गांठ अगर लग जाये तो फिर, रिश्ते हो या डोरी, लाख करे कोशिश खुलनेमे वक़्त तो लगता है.

     Now no regrets, no worries, lot of questions but now answered!! All is well if it ends well. The Malik always offers absolute happiness, only we needed to find it. Or may be its like you only appreciate brighter side after walking on the darker side. So finally I am bowing my head & heart humbly to my Malik and his blessings. Here I am expressing my Gratitude towards him. Thank you for your guidance  to recognize the brighter side of my life.बिन मांग गुरु किरात करावे, बिन यांचे दिए न्यामत आय. औगुन मेरे कुछ न बिचारे, दिन दिन मेहर करी अधिकाय.

      As they say, for everything you have missed, you have gained something else; everything you gain you loses something else. It’s about your outlook towards life. You can either regret or rejoice. And I have learned to rejoice.

 I talk life & experiences

make yourself so indispensable

no one can erase you.

A lot of people appear and disappear as par their convenience

but I feel... we must make a difference in someone's life.

Yes, slowly I am getting tired of maintaining one sided relations,

slowly I am fading out from a lot of people's life

But...trust me, its not easy to delete me

for one reason

I've made difference in your life...I've changed your thought process.

પરાયાના ચરણ ચાંપીને અનુસરવું નથી ગમતું,

તણખલાનો સહારો લઇ મને તરવું નથી ગમતું.

જીવન ઝીન્દાદીલીથી હું જીવી છું એટલું બસ છે,

ફકીરી    હાલમાં  છું   મસ્ત, કરગવું   નથી   ગમતું.

અચળ છું ધ્રુવસમ આકાશ જેવી મારી  દુનિયામાં,

નજીવા કો સિતારા સમ મને ખરવું નથી  ગમતું.

Malik Radhasoami Dayal Ki daya

love as always billa driftwood,

Blogging...

I think I have to be little more consistent in this blogging thing. I know I am doing well, but I want to do pretty good… I’ve been in & out of it for a while… Busy? Tired? Juggling here & there? May be. But from now on I am gonna try to be more faithful to this commitment! Because I like doing this, I like to stay here…I really don’t know that it matters to anyone else, but who knows... hopefully it might bring me & others to connect on a different level, like sharing ideas, thoughts and random togetherness. OR may be I will find my other side which may be is buried inside me somewhere I have not seen or embrace yet.

     So what is blogging? In my point of view it is something about feelings, which you want to express & write. Something you have to say, and may be, may be someone would want to read. Can it make a difference? Will it draw us closer? Will it help me to celebrate or get me through those moments after me myself reading my own thoughts? Does the comment of my readers will make me elated or sad? Will it change my point of views? Hmm kind of cool thoughts I guess?

    Am I afraid that people will read & think through my thoughts & ideas? Am I ready to accept my responsibility of having these thoughts? It’s like would you die for what you believe in? And my answer is may be… sometimes… honestly no.  I wish I could say yes I can… but I’ve never been in that situation or been tested in that extreme of a manner…. But have I had to stand up for what I believe in… absolutely YES. And its same thing about taking my full responsibilities what I have written in this blog, because I do believe in my thoughts. I have tried to be honest mostly in all, as life is a series of moments by moment’s decisions & changes all the time… You are changed person every second. so your thoughts also changes according to that way. Your thoughts do stack up on the top of each other; they make patterns, good or bad. They make a statement about you, good or bad!! Don’t you think so?

    Yes, I do think that when people are,’ looking at you’ from the outside, I think they look at you not to say good or bad… but to say real or phony. And I want the real one.  So in this passage (blog) my request to you all is just be real, just be an honest, and tell me exactly who I am. Because here I want to create comfort zone between us. Here I want to meet those people who are not with preconceived ideas.  Here I want to start fresh. This is my place, my own creation, where I want to be me only. Here If I have expressed any judgmental or sensitive views of anybody or on any subjects doesn’t change my love or relationship to them. Here I want to see what my Malik is working in my heart and the things he brings across my plate. Here I want to find real person in me. Here I want to experience with his GRACE that all the people, the events, thoughts, conversations, interactions which happened or will happen ,does make difference or not in my life. By bringing all that in my life (how I have dealt or how I will))…what he wants me to be…..

    And last we will definitely encourage, laugh, cry, share and live this wonderful journey together… If you have any thoughts on what I should write-not write like let me know… I am completely open to any suggestions but before doing that please read me well, understand me well… and try to make me understand you all well… you walk half way and I will meet you to the all way… I did tell you I am adaptable. I am available.

                         This blog craze, diary writing

                                  Wandering to unknown places, in so called mind

                                          Self torture; addiction over addiction

                                                        I’m building weakness.

   દૂખ વગર , દર્દ વગર , દૂખની કશી વાત વગર ,

   મન વલોવાય છે ક્યારેક વલોપાત વગર.

   હતું કેવું મઝાનું મન, હતું મારું રતન જેવું,

    પરુન્તું કિસ્મતે રેહવા ના દીધું મનને મન જેવું.

Love as ever billa driftwood

The Family...

Me & My Sisters"s Family (only Gardner is missing)



The Gardner's Family

   I am so tempted to write on this subject that surely will annoy so many... so I think I shall have to contain it to myself in detail and keep away from it... The other day my euphoric chef commented by reading one of post that, Ma, you cannot write this so openly, and hurt someone by  writing their names... Well I don't have any intentions to hurt anybody or make them feel uncomfortable... but if I have felt what I have written, about them in the manner of what I have expressed then those are only my point of views...which is more important to me... Like I said in my previous post this blog is my space to express my views and how I feel.

    Today I am goanna express my views of famliy.There is a lot to be said for families. They can make you or break you.

    In making of family, it is always good in the beginning when everyone is struggling to make their places in their rightful world. When everyone wants to be needed by everyone in their all prospects. It is always vice-versa needs of different aspects to different family members. While nothing is enduring or perfect, generally a family will help you live to your potential and help you survive when times are rough & tough. They are definitely dynamic when they are made... Staying together always helps the weaker person to fight or embrace his or her  weaker side.

    And now about the other part of breaking of family... It is always seem that one strong sibling will take care of other weak sibling. Initially it starts with a very noble & simple ways... and then other elements like added spouses, growth of everything on each side, ego, circumstances etc...Adds up and boom. Any party of the ones who helped & the ones  who got help, starts behaving very differently... Now once it was all under deep currents, surfaces on the out, upper. Now those unspoken words, those oppressed actions all of suddenly takes places on the front. First it was always,’ OURS' all of suddenly becomes,’ MINE.' The strong support of comforting each other falls apart... Mostly because of all kind of these feelings or attitudes like, I did everything for you all & now you have forgotten...OR..So what? It was long time ago & now we all are same, and we don't need you now .OR Now he has more than me (monetary) and he is more reputable and popular then me in this society. OR Now our social needs are complete so we don't have to fulfill other’s social obligations. This kind of EGO clashes. Everybody gets hurt. Strong bond becomes weak. The less fortunate person stays on a loss. Not in my view monetary wise but emotionally fool wise gets hurt mostly. It breaks his or her quest for staying together.

    Once upon a time (now thats quite likely) I also felt being less fortunate... At some point of my life I also felt disturbed, angry by some fortunate (thats what they think in different manner then mine) family members, their comments, their attitudes, their ingratitude. (Yes I confess here my ego did surfaced)) May be I must have been also reacted in the same manner, but right now I am expressing only my pain... I shall not mention them by their names because they will be never acknowledged or entertained. As per my point of views, they were ignorant and absolutely wrong in their actions and accusations... By confronting or even acknowledging them, it means accepting their behaviors to me. So that was not permitable.

    I will be never inspired by wrong thoughts and its ugly reactions. Especially not by others. Same with my none-acceptable behavior decision. I don't want to get involved in anything where personalities can clashes. I like to be alone, which is fortunate for me. I will allow this matter to rest and wait for its reactions. By doing this I feel proud & liberated. I strongly believe that my actions and my beliefs in my life at this age should not change. I am taught by my mother's principles, that  સારાનું હમેશા સારુજ જ થાશે , means good deeds remains always good, when done with some rapidity. And I am pretty sure it will give me good reimbursement… I don't want any reward or reorganization but I want my deeds, feelings in same reciprocation of how I functioned...

    But apart from this still I think, its

very important & necessary to have joint family.

     It’s very important that we tell our family stories to our next generation, so they would know their heritage, their ancestor’s hardships, their struggles to make today’s family work in progressive ways in all matters. In my point of view family gathering should be must where we can revive the old cherished & poignant memories in very non hostile manners... after all once we did shared those memories together...

    The rest I think is up to destiny. I have strong faith in what goes, comes around philosophy. Now I also believe with my experiences that changes in the family are always interesting transitions. You just need to get adjusted. And believe me I am getting there!!

   Someone remarked

that you had only brought me  pain

I quickly corrected them

that you had only brought me joy

And it was the loss, of this joy

that I have interpreted as pai.

कितने इस भिडमे अपने है पराये कितने

पड रहे है मेरी दीवार में साये कितने

एक पत्थर है किसी एक ने फेंका होगा

आइना टुटा तो चेहरे नज़र आये कितने...

love always as ever billa driftwood

The Goals In The Life...

A farmer had a dog that used to sit by roadside waiting for vehicles to come around. As soon as one comes he would run down the road, barking and trying to overtake it. One day a neighbor asked the farmer,” Do you think your dog is ever going to catch a car? The farmer replied, “That’s not what bothers me. What bothers me is what he would do if he ever caught one”.

    What do you do when you finally get what you thought you wanted, but when actually getting it, understand that you liked the idea of getting it, than actually getting it,. AND IT’S NOT LIKE YOU CAN RETURN IT!!! What do you do?

     Yesterday at party, interesting conversation happened…some were complaining about today’s generation’s lack of not achieving goals in their life!! And I thought opposite… I think today’s kids are more focused & more specific in their choices then us. They have their own ideas of making & fulfilling their goals & life. The only difference between us is, they have various & wide choices. Failure becomes part of their learning process, as they intend to get another chance, another opportunity, another project, another field… but we the parents once wanted to be like them… all of suddenly becomes like our own parents & starts behaving like from old school…How cannot you trust your own creation?  And we call ourselves smart & intelligence!!  If we can bloom so fine in restricted environment…then these kids are definitely gonna be flower head of any beautiful garden. They definitely will outsmart us…

   I personally think running aimlessly after your goal (only to satisfy other people in your life) damages you & people around you… I think when choosing our goals we create (Maybe with help of influences also) we create this phantom images of who we think we need to be…I am not saying that there may be not things about ourselves that need reflection or change…but I think there should be a wisdom in choosing and be happy with who you are & what you are doing and letting that be OK. We have to select purposeful goal to balance out our status for our own good…

   Personally I have never been great at setting goals. I’ve things I want to get it done sure, but I won’t run blindly after them to make it done… I am not good at making & keeping track of anything… I can keep up with so many details in my head it freaks me out sometimes. At other times I can’t even remember the less significant event…but one thing I know that I can create myself happy. And you can make other people or surroundings happy only when you are comfortable with yourself, your job, your life. And that is only possible when you have achieved little of your so called goal…

   But I do know this… God wants us to make the most of every opportunities, to cherish the moments we are living, accepting all our failures only to surpass for new opening… Yes planning is important (Goals) on so many different levels, only you need in my point of views are discipline, focusing, & mostly ability of recognizing the opportunities…but if you miss out on the now don’t worry, you will get another chance, just recognize it & adopt it with more discipline…

    The Gardner is back from India & I will be busy in……what you thought? Ha? Yep in the kitchen…where else? After living in India for some time, pampered by Amrit &  Vishwanath, (My house help back in India) I don’t feel good working in domestic area…my body revolts…and the tenderness of my body take places in various parts, especially in my mind… it becomes forgetful, ( I forget how to cook) my craving for food goes on misplaced .(Because here in USA I have become so used to on snacks like chevdas, samosas & mostly on my Supple big sis’s food in his absence) But what you can do… I have to be good wife to get good in return… so here billa goes in the kitchen & make traditional Gujju food. Life is still beautiful!!

   I should show my gratification by reading all comments by my candid little sister & show appreciation that she reads & enjoy my blog. Thanks for traveling with me on this soulful journey of mine…I promise you we will wander to many places where we wanted to go & cherish many beautiful or poignant moments…because we are soulful sisters & always find happiness in every moments... Yep I love our sisterhood.

Soul Sisters

                                                     

                 I see multiple possibilities of chances and choices

                                              In my dreams.

                                 Only I don’t have to wake up.

दरिया की जिंदगी पर सदके हज़ार जाने

मुजको नहीं गंवारा साहिल की मौत मरना.

Love as always billa driftwood

Me, Myself & I...

Well, I know that this is a late for my introduction, but I was asked by some friends that I should write something about me! Ha-ha… What I can write? I was born in Itola (Gujarat) at my mother’s place, raised in Karamsad, my father’s place, & lived in Bombay, Gandhidham, & Charlotte (USA). My life has been a kaleidoscope of different cultures & people.

Karmsad

1975

           We had a joint family living in Bombay (City) of two brothers. 11 siblings & four parents & not forgetting Foi(Aunt) living only few yards away!! In sixties the house was getting full with so many other cousins or relatives who would end up living in the house for some XYZ reasons. So my Uncle & Aunt decided to live in Karamsad (Hometown). So my taciturn middle sister & I at the age of eight moved with them. I did my schooling there. There I made my lifelong friends. Resh, Renu & pratima. The unforgettable faces which made some or none significant impact in my life… Deepakben, Nirmalben, patel Sir, Mahesh, KP, Bakul,Maniba, Pandit Maharaj, Labhu......Ba,Bapuji, Laxmikaki, Akuji…The most good traits of myself I got here are survival instinct  & self respect. (Or pride) The belonging to the roots. Too fight against the odds. I was always bold; dare devil kind of teen ager, who loved to mingle with people…which sometimes were wrong choices…but in my point of view that made me learn to know the other side of the nature too.  Karamsad bringing-up gave me wide angle to understand, how society (Samaj…)) works in a traditionally ways & so on…Apart from some disturb memories… I think I had my best years of my life here…But staying away from my parents…has always haunted me.                                                          

     Marriage to the Gardner brought me to the Gandhidham. I bloomed in multicultural society of this city. Here I learned how the other society(not like our samaj)) works…different people from different state…everything was different, the language, the code of dressing, the food, the beliefs & many more…I felt like I was thrown in the totally new world, but with the patience & understanding from The Gardner I immediately felt at home. The atmosphere of this city sharpened my wit, my daringness, my ability to open my mind & most importantly my love of life. Here I met The Gardner’s friend V-Gujral… whom I made him my kind of Soul-Friend…Here I made my life’s only best friend A-Kothary . Here also there are so many unforgettable faces which made some or non significant impact in my life…Sandy, Gopal, Hans Family, Behanji, Pooja, Ritu, Chand, Dr Hansaben.....another A-Kothary, Shakuben Family, Motiabhai & many more. I think my most loved years happened here…

1986 USA

    Blessed with two boys again we moved to in the totally new world, Charlotte, USA. Aahhh… not only different society, but totally different country… but here we had The Gardner’s family… family of nine brothers & sisters… so strange here it was a fusion of our society (our samaj)) & other culture…and guess what yep my both persona from back homes made me easy to settled down here…The international culture has taught me to be more modest & practical. Here I became more close to my oldest bhabhi Vidulabhabhi. (Great loss from her demise)) Here I made friend with Dotsy, who pioneered me in learning of the ways of how this society works…here I met again Resh after so many years… and man again the old friendship flourished in the new environment…Here I made some cherished relationships & lost it too…here also many non-forgettable significant faces happened pinku,(I am trying to find right blog name for him)) Nayan, Savitaben, Supple oldest sister Pragnaben ,Taciturn middle sister Koki and my Candid little sister Kshama… and  others in my opinion they were insignificant in my life…….On sunny side I am very in high spirits that my Silver Tongue son has finally found his love of life…& The Euphoric Chef is doing great in his standpoint life. I think my most learning years happened here…

My Parents

    I was a theist but only recently that I have discovered my faith and that has given me enormous peace.(thanks to my parents illness)) My time spent with my parents in their illness has given me more wisdom, the understanding of human physiology, to let go, ( anything) the meaning of sacrifice & mostly indifferences of relationships. (May be not in true sense in my father's point of view)) They both are epitome for me in my life. Their life is like a GITA or BIBLE to me… any question of my life gets an answer from  it…At this point family( my own created, not by nature's)) is the most essential part in my life… I believe now everything is pre-destining, but you are given a various choices to get it done in life. Now I strongly believe that people always come into your life for a REASON or SEASON…nothing is permanent except only being you. But apart from this life is still beautiful & still attracts me with its full energy!!

    About me I will be little modest…I panic easily on non important matters & can stay cool on serious one too… I am loving, caring, have strong mentality, loves attention, adventures, aggressive, hasty, and lazy in certain way & emotionally fool kind of a person. My consciences does not allow myself to escape from … my commitments, my desire to make my family more close nit…although everyone has their own right to act upon their choices.

Radhasoami

    I am thankful to my Malik for his Mehar & gave me a probability of being a life partner of The Gardner.( In my heart I know that he is big looser having me in his life)) I am very gratified to those who went with me & stayed with me through my this beautiful journey of life. I am also indebted to those people & situations which made me question about integrity of life, love, friendship & relationships… because without them I couldn’t have balanced out my journey of life

   This blog of mine is a bit & bits of my thoughts, feelings, imaginations and flight of fancy. And I hope to discover different facets of myself in this process. On my more about life and mortality, my ill will & exposures… may be someday…I will indulge more…as this blog is my space. I shall never fear to fill it the way I desire to...

                                         A Gypsy woman said

                            Ask your question about your life

                                        Will give you an answer.

                But I don’t want to be given answer. I want to find them.

                   I won’t ask you for an answer just point me a direction

                                   And I will find my answer.

કથા મારા જીવનની પૂર્ણ  થઇ ગઈ બે જ પ્રકરણમાં

મુકદર બાગમાં લાવ્યું, મોહબત્ત લઇ ગઈ રણમાં.

                   'બેફામ'

Love as ever billa driftwood.