The Family...

Me & My Sisters"s Family (only Gardner is missing)



The Gardner's Family

   I am so tempted to write on this subject that surely will annoy so many... so I think I shall have to contain it to myself in detail and keep away from it... The other day my euphoric chef commented by reading one of post that, Ma, you cannot write this so openly, and hurt someone by  writing their names... Well I don't have any intentions to hurt anybody or make them feel uncomfortable... but if I have felt what I have written, about them in the manner of what I have expressed then those are only my point of views...which is more important to me... Like I said in my previous post this blog is my space to express my views and how I feel.

    Today I am goanna express my views of famliy.There is a lot to be said for families. They can make you or break you.

    In making of family, it is always good in the beginning when everyone is struggling to make their places in their rightful world. When everyone wants to be needed by everyone in their all prospects. It is always vice-versa needs of different aspects to different family members. While nothing is enduring or perfect, generally a family will help you live to your potential and help you survive when times are rough & tough. They are definitely dynamic when they are made... Staying together always helps the weaker person to fight or embrace his or her  weaker side.

    And now about the other part of breaking of family... It is always seem that one strong sibling will take care of other weak sibling. Initially it starts with a very noble & simple ways... and then other elements like added spouses, growth of everything on each side, ego, circumstances etc...Adds up and boom. Any party of the ones who helped & the ones  who got help, starts behaving very differently... Now once it was all under deep currents, surfaces on the out, upper. Now those unspoken words, those oppressed actions all of suddenly takes places on the front. First it was always,’ OURS' all of suddenly becomes,’ MINE.' The strong support of comforting each other falls apart... Mostly because of all kind of these feelings or attitudes like, I did everything for you all & now you have forgotten...OR..So what? It was long time ago & now we all are same, and we don't need you now .OR Now he has more than me (monetary) and he is more reputable and popular then me in this society. OR Now our social needs are complete so we don't have to fulfill other’s social obligations. This kind of EGO clashes. Everybody gets hurt. Strong bond becomes weak. The less fortunate person stays on a loss. Not in my view monetary wise but emotionally fool wise gets hurt mostly. It breaks his or her quest for staying together.

    Once upon a time (now thats quite likely) I also felt being less fortunate... At some point of my life I also felt disturbed, angry by some fortunate (thats what they think in different manner then mine) family members, their comments, their attitudes, their ingratitude. (Yes I confess here my ego did surfaced)) May be I must have been also reacted in the same manner, but right now I am expressing only my pain... I shall not mention them by their names because they will be never acknowledged or entertained. As per my point of views, they were ignorant and absolutely wrong in their actions and accusations... By confronting or even acknowledging them, it means accepting their behaviors to me. So that was not permitable.

    I will be never inspired by wrong thoughts and its ugly reactions. Especially not by others. Same with my none-acceptable behavior decision. I don't want to get involved in anything where personalities can clashes. I like to be alone, which is fortunate for me. I will allow this matter to rest and wait for its reactions. By doing this I feel proud & liberated. I strongly believe that my actions and my beliefs in my life at this age should not change. I am taught by my mother's principles, that  સારાનું હમેશા સારુજ જ થાશે , means good deeds remains always good, when done with some rapidity. And I am pretty sure it will give me good reimbursement… I don't want any reward or reorganization but I want my deeds, feelings in same reciprocation of how I functioned...

    But apart from this still I think, its

very important & necessary to have joint family.

     It’s very important that we tell our family stories to our next generation, so they would know their heritage, their ancestor’s hardships, their struggles to make today’s family work in progressive ways in all matters. In my point of view family gathering should be must where we can revive the old cherished & poignant memories in very non hostile manners... after all once we did shared those memories together...

    The rest I think is up to destiny. I have strong faith in what goes, comes around philosophy. Now I also believe with my experiences that changes in the family are always interesting transitions. You just need to get adjusted. And believe me I am getting there!!

   Someone remarked

that you had only brought me  pain

I quickly corrected them

that you had only brought me joy

And it was the loss, of this joy

that I have interpreted as pai.

कितने इस भिडमे अपने है पराये कितने

पड रहे है मेरी दीवार में साये कितने

एक पत्थर है किसी एक ने फेंका होगा

आइना टुटा तो चेहरे नज़र आये कितने...

love always as ever billa driftwood